For the Love of Cthulhu Get Processed at the Church of Perfect Science

 

Cults of Cthulhu introduces us to five cults that worship our favorite dead and dreaming elder god. Two of them are classic (the Louisiana swamp cult from Call of Cthulhu and the Esoteric Order of Dagon from Shadow over Innsmouth). The other three are a variety of cults that include one from the Gaslight era, one from the 1920s, and a fascinating cult for the modern era.

The modern era cult is known as the Church of Perfect Science and is indeed the most powerful cult of Cthulhu to have ever been created.

Sci-fi writer Roger Blake started his own publishing house in 1940. He received a query from a fascinating writer. Blake traveled to meet with this young man and found the young writer was heavily inspired by an ancient tome he’d acquired. He let Blake read the book overnight. By morning, Blake begged the writer to let him take the tome home.

The writer refused.

Blake beat him to death with an ashtray.

The murder was never solved. Blake became obsessed with the tome and started writing sci-fi stories that told how humankind was created by aliens. Those aliens were conquered by other aliens who now lie dead yet dreaming beneath the waves and will awaken some day when the stars are right. Blake called the priest of the dead gods Kutu.

Blake met a fan and neuroscientist, Sal Seidman. He’d developed a device that was intended to help humans transform their minds, opening them up to truly perceive the world. Blake thought the device could be used to contact intelligence beyond humans. Through deep-state meditations, being hooked up to the electronic processor machine, which was run by Seidman, Blake and Seidman were able to tap into the dreams of Kutu and become influenced by them.

Blake established the Church of Perfect Science in 1952, registering it as a religion. He promoted the idea that through using the processor people could overcome negative habits and mentally prepare themselves in a way that they succeed in life. By 1960 there were hundreds of followers and the Church owned a sizeable compound in Albany, New York. B-list movie actors and Broadway stars joined the ranks, lending credibility to this new age self-help organization.

One day Blake announced it was time for Phase Two. Based on experiments where he shared thoughts with a star spawn, he built a complex mechanical device in the basement of the Albany compound. He connected himself to the device and ordered it to be turned on.

Blake went into stasis.

Meanwhile, the New York Record published an article detailing how the Church believed in aliens who created man and will again rule the world. It created a lot of negative publicity. The Church sued and won. Witnesses quoted in the story disappeared and couldn’t testify.

The Church went quiet and revitalized their marketing in the 1980s, focusing on their self-improvement process. In 1987, Blake woke up. He immediately began fiddling with his device’s controls and shouted out orders for things he needed in order to add a new compartment to the device. Seidman helped his old friend. The work complete, Blake hooked himself back up to the machine and returned to stasis.

Seidman found a volunteer to try out the new compartment on Blake’s device. The volunteer’s body disappeared into a cocoon and later emerged as a hairless, slender humanoid with gray-yellow skin, large black and pupilless eyes and a mouth of tentacles. Seidman called this creature a “Sedecim.”

Other people underwent what became known as the “Final Process” and became Sedecim. They were given their own floor to live on in the complex. The creatures gave orders for how the Church should be run and different projects they wanted completed. They never gave reasons for their orders. Seidman himself became a Sedecim.

Now, the Church is international with thousands of members. Only members who are specifically screened to be able to handle the truth are told about the aliens. Very few progress to where they become Sedecim. Advanced members of the Church are encouraged to sell everything they have and give it all to the Church, then to move into Church-owned apartments. They’re to break ties with family and friends who aren’t members of the Church. Of course, former military were hired to handle security, making sure no one interferes with the grand designs of the Sedecim and the Church.

This is truly the largest Cthulhu cult the world has ever known.

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Garrett Crowe is a long-time podcaster. His credits include Threat Detected and Threats From Gallifrey. Currently, he's vidcasting the Cubicle 7 One Ring RPG with Threats From Mirkwood. Garrett's also written the book 30 Treasonous Plots, which provides many nefarious Paranoia adventure seeds. Currently, Garrett's writing Dungeons and Dragons adventures for local conventions.

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