Hi everyone,
A couple of weeks ago, d20radio published a blog written by me called Behavior at the Gaming Table. It generated more feedback than anything else I’ve ever written, and I had people writing to me, who I’d never spoken to before, saying that they were glad to hear someone speaking up. So, today I want to continue a bit of that trend. Last time it was of course about behavior to avoid. This week it’ll be the behavior to embrace. I hope you enjoy. 🙂
1: Respect the Host (or your Guests)
When you’re gaming, you’re usually in someone else’s home (or chatroom), and as such you should respect the rules that they have set for that space. If they don’t allow swearing in the house, then respect that, even if it might seem silly to you. If they don’t allow people to wear shoes inside, then you need to respect that too. The same goes for smoking and e-cigarettes. In fact, unless those rules directly go against your own beliefs or are directly offensive to you (“You have to always be naked around our house”), then the Host gets to dictate those rules, and you should respect them.
The same also goes to the Host’s property. Don’t vandalize the house or the chatroom, leave it as you found it, help to clean up after the game, and so on.
That said though, you as the Host, should set reasonable expectations. You cannot expect your guests to know your rules and respect them unless you’ve told them what those rules are. So to use the above examples, if you don’t allow swearing in your house, you need to tell them.
2: Respect the others around the table
Now, as per Rule #1 you should respect the Host, but you should also show consideration for the other guests that are with you. Don’t invade their personal space, unless they’ve specifically allowed you to (and remember, just because they’ve allowed it once, that doesn’t mean they’ll allow it again). Be respectful when talking to them (at least out of character), and try to make everyone feel at home at the table. A roleplaying game is a communal game and one that benefits when everyone is having fun, not just you.
3: Be on time
A little less personal than the above, but just as important. You need to be on time. If the game is due to start at 1700, then you should be there at 1700 (or slightly early). Keep your appointments and promises. If you know that your group plays every other Sunday, then make sure you plan for that. Don’t put other things ahead of it. Of course, exceptions exist, but as a general rule, it’s to be avoided. And when those exceptions appear, let the rest of the group know as soon as possible. We practically all have social media of some sort, so there’s no real excuse.
4: Bring your own
I would have added “Snack” to the headline here, but the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this goes for everything. You KNOW you have a game coming up (see Rule #3), so you should know what you need for that game. Make sure you bring that. Whether it’s snacks, rulebooks, character sheets, dice, or whatever. BRING YOUR OWN. It can be incredibly frustrating for the rest of the group to sit there while one player “quickly rolls up a new character because they forgot their normal one,” or to yet again have to chip in a bit extra, because Player X forgot to bring cash for the pizza. And it feels like there’s always one of these players in any group.
5: Remember, You and Your Character are NOT THE SAME
When you’re gaming, part of a role-playing game might be the playing out conflicts between 2 characters that are in the same party, and at least nominally allies. Don’t let the conflict in-game spill out to out-game. While your characters might not like each other much, remember that they are not the same people that you are, and they don’t have the same traits and flaws that you do and that the conflicts your characters experience aren’t the same ones that you do. So even if your characters have had a go at each other for hours, remain civil to each other, and above all else remember: However much we love it, it’s still just a game.
I hope these 5 “commandments” help you enjoy your games. If you have any that you’d like to add, I’d love to hear them in the comments section, or on Facebook. Until next time. 🙂
Kim Frandsen
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